I could barely ride a horse,
And that became the source,
Of the terrifying course the day would take,
The boss said to ride around a bit,
Showed me how to mount and sit,
But, he told me bugger all about the snake.

So, me and the trusty dog,
Set out on a little jog,
All pimple like upon a pumpkin steed,
Me bony bum was feelin’ pains,
But I firmly grasped the reins,
The instructions in me head I had to heed.

Canter up a gentle hill,
The gum leaves lifeless and quite still,
A couple of hawks dog fightin’ sparrers on the fly,
While I am marvellin’ at the sight,
The neddy takes a sharp turn right,
I go left and I’m hurtlin’ through the sky.

It seemed the time was bugger all,
Till me backside broke the fall,
And I slowly rose to give myself a shake,
I reckon the dog was havin’ a giggle,
When first I noticed the writhing wriggle,
Of a bloody great six foot long black snake.

I looked around to find some shelter,
Trippin’ over while helter skelter,
And landed on a nest of big bull ants,
Their nasty nippin’ made me yell,
Strewth! what the hell’s that awful smell?,
Stone the bloody crows! I’ve pooped me pants.

All the while the snake looks addled,
So does the horse with empty saddle,
And the dogs laying down pretending death,
I thought the bugger had died,
Then he shook his head and sighed,
All the bloody while he’s been holdin’ his breath

The addled adder’s wrinklin’ up it’s nose,
The dog’s took off, that’s what he chose,
Then the wriggler’s gone faster than my gaze,
I can’t stay the way I am,
I dive headfirst in the dam,
And the cattle wouldn’t drink from it for days.

© Dudley C. Pye A.M, J.P.

[from the story, Six of the Best]